There has been a quiet an unraveling of sorts in my personal life lately.
Not the dramatic kind or chaotic kind, just...endings...Some through death, some through distance, and some through the kind of transformation where a relationship doesn’t break, but simply transforms into something else.
At first, it all felt like loss, like things were being taken from me. People I loved, versions of connections I thought would last, the familiar rhythm of “how things were.” I caught myself trying to hold onto it, replay it, understand it, fix it! Like if I just looked hard enough, I could stop the shift from happening. That’s when I started recognizing the pattern:
<<<Samsara>>>
To me, samsara isn’t just some spiritual concept..It’s the loop I find myself in when I’m gripping too tightly like the crab that I am. Finding myself in the cycle of attachment, expectation, and emotional repetition. It’s the part of me that wants things to stay the same, that tries to control outcomes, reaching for something outside of me to feel safe, secure and steady. I could feel it in my body: the resistance, the subtle panic, the pull to hold on, even when something was already in movement.
But at the same time, something else was happening.
I wasn’t just being pulled through these cycles... I was choosing to meet them.
Through ceremony, sacred fire and sitting in spaces that asked me to be radically honest with myself.
The Solar Eclipse, New Year of the Fire Horse Ceremony was so intense, not gentle or subtle but like a dismantling!
Old stories I had carried about myself were burned away. Identities I had outgrown but still clung to didn’t survive that fire. Patterns within my relationships, especially the toxic ones rooted in control, force, or the need for something more than what simply is, rose to the surface with nowhere left to hide. Not to destroy the relationship itself but to clear out what wasn’t aligned anymore within.
It wasn’t uncomfortable, It was destruction! Not the kind that leaves you empty, the kind that clears space.
And then came the Lunar Eclipse Ceremony, where the energy shifted. I wasn’t just releasing, I was welcoming in!
New beginnings and new ways of being. A deeper understanding that this awakening I’ve been moving through isn’t about stepping into a perfect life where pain and trauma no longer exist, but about learning how to navigate them differently.
To feel deeply without drowning in my own water but moving through emotions trying to not become them! Trying so incredibly hard not to create an identity surrounding that story!
To rise! Not by avoiding pain, but by meeting it with a higher awareness of self.
That’s what these New Earth energies are teaching me.
Not perfection, presence.
Not escaping the human experience, but expanding within it!
And then the purification lodge. That's where it got even more honest. Because even after everything I thought I had released, there were still remnants, residual attachments and pieces of people, emotions, and expectations I hadn’t fully let go of; the parts of me that still wanted to control how certain connections looked or where they were going.
The lodge didn’t let me bypass that.
It brought me face to face with what I was still holding onto and the truth that I don’t have to let go of the connection, just the parts of it that aren’t aligned anymore:
The control, the fear of abandonment and most importantly, the attachment to it being anything other than what it naturally is.
I’m still cleansing, still shedding and still learning how to release in a way that’s real, not forced, but embodied.
<<<Satori>>>
For me, isn’t some perfect state of enlightenment but those quiet moments where everything clicks, where I stop resisting and begin seeing things clearly without the stories, without the fear, and without the need to control it.
It’s the moment I come back to myself. The moment I realize I’m okay… even in the middle of change. That nothing real is lost by allowing things to be what they are.
As I’ve been shedding old identities, patterns, and expectations, I’ve also been returning to myself ~Recreating myself… (within myself).
Not based on who I’ve been for others, or even trying to prove my love anymore, but from something deeper, steadier.
There’s a kind of power in that.
Not loud or performative, grounded.
BRAVERY IN THE FEAR!!!
The kind that comes from choosing yourself again, falling back in love with yourself again, slowly coming back into alignment with your own spirit.
And as a 40-year-old woman, I can honestly say that I am very confident in knowing who I AM.
I even have “temet nosce” tattooed on me, it means know thyself..a constant reminder to trust that inner knowing.
The "it" <<<inner terrestrial>>>
The Christos within!
~~~I believe everything exists~~~
ALL OF IT!
That everyone’s belief structure serves a purpose in their growth and survival here in this mystery school we call Earth.
I am constantly healing, not just for myself, but so I can show up for others in the most real and present way possible.
As an energy worker, I pray and send out Reiki for this planet, for my friends and my family.
<<<FOR ALL OF US >>>
That we rise together and learn how to hold our light, even in the midst of everything shifting!
Continuing to support each other as we shift and grow without judgment and ego getting in the way of helping our brother or sister find their way back home to their higher truths within! I welcome these new frequencies that are here to support us in our <<<ASCENSION>>>
I pray that we protect our light as we move through this. ✨🙏✨
I still grieve. I still miss people. I still feel the pull to hold on sometimes.
But I’m not resisting the movement anymore, just learning to find new ways to trust it.
And somewhere in the middle of all this burning, releasing, welcoming, and rebuilding…
I’m finding myself again.
Not as someone new, but as someone more true.
I see the light in you, within me. Thank you, I love you, we are one, AHO!
-Lynlee
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